Just Us
by MonkeyPajamas
Summary: What was going through Jane's head as she talked with Patterson at the end of 1.10…And the kiss


I do not own Blindspot. If I did, it wouldn't be on hiatus right now. And that kiss would have probably happened a lot faster than it did. Basically, don't sue. Even though I did quote a majority of that scene in this fic.

I had been watching that scene at the end of the episode about a bajillion times. And I just needed to write what was going through Jane's head as she talked with Patterson and leading up to the kiss.

* * *

There had been a lot of exhausting days since Jane had come into the FBI. But this one was different. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to collapse, but more than the physical pain, there was the mental anguish. David was dead, because he was chasing the tattoos on her body. Her friend – one of her only friends – was in pain because of her.

She closed her locker, glad to be done for the day. She just wanted to go back to the safe house. Back to where things made sense (at least as much sense as anything did) – anywhere but here, where there were constant reminders of the pain and loss her tattoos bring.

As Jane turned around, she saw Patterson coming into the locker room. The pain welled up in Jane as she saw her friend's face. Jane had never lost anyone that she knew of, and the grief and pain on Patterson's face was too much to bear.

"Hey… I wanted to thank you… If… If we didn't get her…I…" Patterson sighed, "thank you."

"I just wish that there was more that I could do."

"I thought that if I solved this, and if I found his killer, I would feel…uh…" Patterson paused, sitting down on the bench. "But I feel the same… Just… empty. Like solving this didn't change anything. Is that what it's like for you?" Patterson looked up at Jane, searching her face for answers. "With the tattoos?"

Jane paused, unsure of how to answer. She could feel Patterson's eyes on her. Maybe that's how it had been when it started. She still desperately wanted answers. Who did this to her? Why? But, like Patterson had said, at this point, would it really change anything if she knew?

As if she understood, Patterson sighed. "That's awful."

Jane shook her head slightly. There were so many things she wanted to say, but couldn't figure out the words.

"I just wish I could relive the last few weeks," Patterson continued.

Jane sat down next to her friend, "Hey… Hey, you can't think like that."

"I mean, David was right. We were… we were great together. And I was just scared." Patterson continued, near tears.

"You had no idea any of this would happen."

"I wasted so much energy on why it wouldn't work when I could have been… " Patterson paused, taking a deep breath to stop the tears. "I loved him. And… and I… he was right in front of me, and I should have just held on. Instead I just pushed him away." Patterson sobbed, unable to hold back the pain anymore.

Jane hugged Patterson, trying to convince herself (and Patterson) that it would be alright. She tried to ignore that creeping voice inside her head. As Patterson was talking, all Jane could think about was Kurt. What else had they been doing for the past months, but pushing each other away when things got too close? She pushed that thought away. Now wasn't the time. Patterson was hurting, and she needed a friend, not a lovesick woman.

"I don't know how I could have gotten through today without all of you." Jane held Patterson closer, and closed her eyes. Her friend needed her. Everything else would have to wait.

A few minutes later, Patterson's tears slowed. "I'm … I'm sorry," she apologized to Jane. "I just… what do I do now?"

"I don't know," Jane answered truthfully. "You go home, you grieve, and wake up the next morning, and do it all over again." Jane thought back to those first few days, running on autopilot as things happened around her. "You know – we're all here for you."

Patterson nodded. She stood up slowly, wiped away her tears on her sleeve. "Thanks," and then walked out of the locker room.

Jane watched her go, wishing nothing more than wanting to take some of the pain away.

Jane sat at the safe house, pushing her food around on her plate. She wasn't hungry, but as always, her detail had some take out ready for her when she got there. Too much had happened today, and Patterson's words were still haunting her. "loved him…. Held on… great together." And every time, Weller's face… those green eyes, normally so focused, that softened when he looked at her. His smile, so rarely seen, that made Jane go weak. His strength and trust in Jane and his team… Was Patterson right? Were they just being stupid – pushing each other away out of fear?

Jane knew instantly she had to see him. Had to prove to herself what this feeling was – if there was something real, or if the day was just getting to her. She looked outside. Her detail was standing on the front porch, laughing and telling stories. Like normal. It wasn't hard to sneak out, she'd done it before.

As she made her way across the city, her confidence dropped. What was she going to do when she got there? Sarah would be there, and Jane hadn't forgotten the last disastrous dinner meeting. What would she even say to him?

She arrived quicker than she wanted to – she still needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She sat on a bench outside his apartment, staring at the ground, trying to figure out what she was doing there. What she would say, what she would do.

Weller saw her first. He quickly looked around for her detail. What was she doing sitting outside alone? After a day like today…. She shouldn't be alone. "Hey?" His voice alarmed. "Everything alright?"

Jane stood up, she hadn't expected him to be out. "Yeah."

"Where's your detail?" Weller's voice had a hint of anger.

"Um..I snuck out." Jane confessed.

"All right, that's crazy. Their job is to be with you the whole time! Look after you when you get home." Kurt's voice was rising. These were FBI agents – they should be able to be trusted to keep Jane safe.

"I just needed to see you," Jane says, searching his eyes for an answer.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice soft. He could feel her gaze on him. This was different than before. Something had changed, but Weller was almost afraid to admit it to himself.

Jane took a deep breath, reaching up, wrapping her arms around his neck. Without any further hesitation, she brought her lips to his, kissing him, softly at first, but deepening as she felt him reciprocating. The moment seemed to last for hours, but all too quickly, she ended it. His hand was still on her cheek, her arms resting on his shoulders, but they both knew everything had changed. "I just… um… I wanted a moment that was just… us."

She saw Kurt smile, and she knew her answer. As she looked into his eyes, she saw her own emotions reflected back – the longing, and passion, too long denied. She leaned up, kissing him again, deeper and more passionate this time. Her hands played with the wisps of hair at the back of his neck, his hand holding her close.

"Uncle Kurt?"

Jane chuckled, reality coming crashing down around them. They parted, Kurt going over to his nephew. She said her goodbyes, but neither really wanted to wait until tomorrow. She may not have all the answers, but at least now she had one. He was always her starting place. Everything else would follow.


End file.
